Greetings from the couch...

Hey you guys,

I'm currently laying on the couch feeling sorry for myself as I have been feeling like I might be coming down with something. I thought maybe I just had sore muscles from all the workouts I've been doing, but it's a different sort of pain. A dull ache across my back and in my hip joints and chills too. Not very nice.

Hopefully it passes quickly because I really don't want my routine thrown off too much. I have done all the training sessions (Monday to Sat at 5:30 am) and eaten properly since the start of last week, so hopefully it pays off and I see some movement on the scales tomorrow morning.

Last Weds I had lost 2.1kg in the couple of days since I started and I am starting to notice a few subtle changes in the way my clothes fit.

We shall see!

Are you working towards any health and fitness goals? How's it going for you?

12WBT Pre-Season – July 2015

Hey gang!

I've just finished pre-season for the 12 Week Body Transformation and I am all set to start tomorrow!

One of the pre-season tasks I needed to do before starting was to organise and diarise so there are no 'I'm too busy' 'I couldn't fit it in' excuses. When I looked at my calendar I realised that the only time that I'm not either working or parenting is early in the morning. At first I started thinking about all the reasons why I didn't want to get up early... mostly these two:

I'll be exhausted all day and I wont get to spend quality time with John in the evenings because I'll have to go to bed so early.

But then I really thought about these things rationally and came up with solutions. I will be exhausted for a little while, and then my body will get used to the early mornings and pretty soon my body will be thriving on the endorphins from my workouts. As I get fitter I will have more energy. Yay!

I will definitely need to go to bed early but this just means John and I will need to re-frame what we think of as quality time. Instead of slothing on the couch watching Netflix until waaaay too late every night, maybe we will have breakfast together before we start the day or maybe we can schedule in a few more intentional dates on the weekends. And actually, it's quite ok for me to kiss him goodnight at 9pm and let him potter around doing his own thing for a couple of hours after I turn in for the night.

To ease my anxiety about getting up early I decided to practice last week. I went to the gym at 5:30 on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and it was fine... actually, it was great. I worked out for an hour and then went to my local coffee place for a very relaxed cuppa and a little alone time before heading home and getting everyone ready for school (and work!).

So tomorrow is day one. Please feel free to check in on me over the next 12 weeks. Also, let me know if you're doing it too! I love having buddies along the way.

Yours in good health!

Ash

Pre Season Stats:
Start weight: 124.8kg
Clothing size: 22-24

Weekly Well-being Wrap Up

Aloha friends! It's weekly well-being wrap up time!

1. What have I been doing to improve my mental health? 
This week I haven't really been making a concerted effort on this front however I have been doing lots of fun things with my family and that always helps my mental health. I think being able to recognise your triggers is important, so I am going to make a little list here with a view to addressing these things and putting them in perspective.

Things that have been getting me down: 

• The state of our house! Holidays have not been kind to our house. I am used to having a few hours a week to myself to focus on keeping the house the way I like it. I am no neat freak by any stretch of the imagination but there are a few key things that I like to keep on top of like the laundry, the floors, the kitchen and keeping surfaces clean and right this minute I can hardly walk in the laundry for piles of dirty clothes (bring on uniform wearing time again!! So many clothes!!), there are tumbleweeds of dust and dog hair floating around getting caught on the piles of sand that have been traipsed in from the beach and there is STUFF on every surface. I LOVE spending time with my family but I get to a point in the holidays where I feel ready to have my space back.

• PERSPECTIVE: Instead of spending time cleaning, I have been enjoying time with my kids, time that for most of the year I long for. So I need to just bloody ENJOY it rather than being a negative nelly about the house.

The girls eating the first red tommies of the season.

• We haven't had a chance to go away somewhere for a proper holiday. 

• PERSPECTIVE: We've done lots of fun stuff over the holidays. We have been to Aireys Inlet for two nights and John played a really nice gig at the Torquay Night Jar Market, we have had a few day trips to the beach, we've been to Healesville Sanctuary, ice skating, rollerskating and the movies. We have spent quality time at home in the garden and making things, we have visited friends, been op-shopping, bought new bed linen and done several op-shop runs to clear out old junk. It hasn't been bad at all. There is always next summer to plan a trip.

Molly basically being in heaven.

John having a paddle at Williamstown.

 

Richie having fun in the sand with some pals.

These are my friends Sally and Sudi. Yesterday was Sudi's first time to the beach! It was such a special day.

Molly (right) and her best buddy Pearl having the best time catching waves.

• I feel like I'm not good at my jobs and it's often because I say yes to too many things so I am always juggling and things slip through the cracks. I fall into the trap of comparing myself to other people who seem to function at a high level... other people who don't have three kids (two from my belly and a foster daughter) and uni, and a book on the go and a paid job and a commitment to community and tricky family things to deal with! I am always apologising to people for doing a crappy job of something instead of saying "I'm sorry I can't do that for you" at the beginning. Or saying, "I'm sorry I can't do more than I'm already doing". When I am going really great with one job, the other things suffer. I guess I'm a natural single-tasker. Pip wrote about this recently.  I guess it's good to be able to recognise but not easy to make the changes required to stop doing it. 

• PERSPECTIVE: I have a lot of things on and it's quite natural to not cope when there is so much happening. The kids are about to go back to school and I am about to have the routine and alone time back that I so desperately crave. It will be ok. All the things will get done. I might disappoint people some times but I need to communicate with people how I am feeling and if I am not met with understanding, maybe it's not me with the problem?!

2. What have I been eating to nourish my body?
Same as last week, meat, veg, nuts, eggs, olives, avocados, Greek yoghurt, a little fruit. I have been forgetting to eat breakfast so I really want to make a plan and do some more food prep. Smoothies are a good option for the mornings as I usually don't feel like savoury food first thing in the morning. I just need to make sure I have all the ingredients available every day.

3. How have I been moving my body to improve my physical health?
This week I have been playing on the beach with the kids, walking the dog, dancing to Christine Anu at the Footscray Wominjeka Festival (which was amazing!!), and ROLLERSKATING! I am going to be starting roller derby soon! GAH! Fun with other women, roughness and fitness all rolled into one! Sounds tops to me!

Here's a picture of me NOT falling over! High fives!

4. How am I feeling and why?

I'm feeling good in a "I'm ready to have my own space back" kind of way. Do you ever feel like that? Does it make you feel a bit guilty? I do. Meh. 

And here's something I've noticed! There is a jawline emerging! First pic was November last year, second was yesterday. 

Weekly Well-being Wrap Up

Hi everyone!

I've decided to pop in here every week to give a bit of a wrap up of my progress. I am intentionally working on my physical and emotional well-being and I think I'll be more aware of what is actually happening if I take the time to document it and share it here.

Because I want to ensure that I don't get myself out of balance I will loosely work around the following questions:

1. What have I been doing to improve my mental health? 

2. What have I been eating to nourish my body? 

3. How have I been moving my body to improve my physical health? 

4. How am I feeling and why?

So, I'm going to answer these questions right after you watch this cool video. I find this so inspiring because I love working out and I absolutely jiggle... a lot. And I've just had to get past this and do it anyway.

What have I been doing to improve my mental health?
For me, my physical health and mental health are so connected. I have been making time for me, which has not come so naturally in the last few years because I have so many people who need me and, like many women, the needs of my family have come before my own. I am fortunate enough to be married to a teacher so during these school holidays I have been working on making more time for myself and spending time working on moving my body purposefully and re-discovering what to eat to make me feel great. I feel if I get these habits in place during January, I am much more likely to successfully continue them during the year.

I have also been doing a bit of a de-clutter at home which is making my head feel clearer. So far, we have taken a car-load of stuff to the op-shop and there's more to go.

What have I been eating to nourish my body?
I am focusing on eating lots of veggies, good fats and meat with the occasional bit of fruit or bowl of Greek yoghurt. I'm sticking to a fairly low carb, med/highish protein menu as it really helps with my PCOS symptoms and stops me craving food all day. An average day might look like this:

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with bacon, avocado and sauteed spinach, mushrooms and onion and coffee with full fat milk
Lunch: Salad with salmon or chicken or leftover meat, almonds and home made mayo
Dinner: Bolognese sauce with veggie spiral noodles. Usually I use carrot and zucchini for the "pasta"
Snacks: Almonds or yoghurt and raspberries, or half and avocado with salt and pepper. This totals about 1500 calories but I'm not really counting. 

I am not getting hungry between meals, in fact, I am having to remind myself to eat which is so different to how it has been for me in the last few years. I finally feel the food side of it has clicked again and I can do a lot of it without thinking.

Also, I am not letting my "diet" (for want of a better word) get in the way of enjoying my life, for instance, last night our family went out for Vietnamese and there wasn't really anything on the menu that ticked all my boxes so instead of getting stressed about it mucking up my progress I chose a beef and chicken pho and didn't eat many of the noodles. It was delicious and I enjoyed spending time with my family without having to stress about food.

Food shouldn't be stressful. It's just food.  

How have I been moving my body to improve my physical health?
This is where I am feeling really excited because I found a trainer at the gym to write me a program that is completely, exactly, what I asked for and what I know works for me. It is a functional weights program that I will be doing twice a week along with doing a class or two and walking the dog. If anyone is interested, I am happy to share my program for you to try too - hit me up in the comments or Facebook me if you'd like to see it. It only takes 30-40 minutes so it will be easy to fit into my schedule.

Another cool thing that happened this week is that I got myself a second hand Fitbit from my friend Gemma so I can keep better track of my sleep and activity. I already know that I actually sleep quite well but my best, deepest sleep happens in the wee hours of the morning, so I'm never waking up early again.. lol.


How am I feeling and why?
On one hand, I'm feeling positive, encouraged, intentional and on track and I feel this way because I am making time for myself and pushing my own limits. On the other hand, I'm feeling disillusioned with the media, world governments and some parts of humanity because of the awful massacres that have occurred in Africa and France and responses (or lack thereof) to them. I am struggling with how to respond to this and how to pro-actively care about all the things that matter to me. I have reached a point where I have to acknowledge that the best contribution I can make to the world right now is to raise loving, peaceful, critical thinking children.

Thanks for joining me today, If I don't see you before, see you here next week for another update!

Endorphining the blues away.

Good morning!

I'm posting from the gym today between sessions. This week is the first since my doctors visit that I'm able to properly carry out my new 4 day a week training plan due to my birthday 2 weekends ago and a wedding last weekend. 

Here is yesterday's effort:

And today's so far:

I'm about to head back in to get on the treadmill and watch bad daytime TV.

I thought I'd pop in and record that today I've been dealing with some really black feelings triggered by money stress and family conflict. Where I would usually choose to spend the day at home on the couch watching iview and eating carbs, today I am smashing it out at the gym and the endorphins are already kicking in!

I'm so pleased with this progress. Go me!

Also, 90210 was on the tready TV earlier Which made me happy. 

For the record, I took some "before" pics yesterday:

Confronting, but good to have on record.

Gah... I hate these. But I'll be glad to look back on them. 

Big shoutout to my cousin Lisa-Marie for making it possible for me to have a gym membership. Xxoo

Anyway, back to it!

Mwa!

Biting the bullet and swallowing my pride

I paid a visit to my doctor yesterday to get support with weight loss.

It's a confronting and scary thing to do, but also kind of freeing because instead of keeping all of these (sometimes irrational and silly) thoughts and ideas in my head I have someone to share them with. Someone who will pull me back down to the ground when I get off track and help me to remember that I am not a failure as a person just because I haven't been able to lose weight.

It's tricky for me because I know I can do it! I have done it before and did it sensibly and healthily so, I've been very frustrated with myself and my internal dialogue has been really bad, full of put downs and insults. I'm not a very nice person... to me.

The doctor and I looked through my files so she could get a good picture of my history and we stumbled across an entry from a visit just before I got pregnant with Richie when I was having a bout of dizzy spells. My file said:

LOW BLOOD PRESSURE AND DIZZY SPELLS/ RESTING HEART RATE 55/ ATHLETE.

Athlete!! No wonder I've been hard on myself. In my brain I am still an athlete despite the extra weight I am carrying around that prevents me from living the life I want. It really does stop me. I sit on the sand when my kids swim at the beach. I sit on the sidelines and watch them run around when what I want to do is play with them. I step out of the frame when family photos are taken because I don't recognise the woman I see when I look at the pictures.

I am 120kg. I am unhealthy and I hate living in this body. If I could unzip it and hop out of it I would. I feel like I could. It does feel like a fat suit.

So we made a plan. My doctor knows that I actually DO know what to do and that I really need accountability and support with the practical side of it.

Here's the plan:

I am going to aim to exercise four days per week. Because my week is crazy and I really can't manage early mornings at this stage, it looks like I am going to need to work out Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Which isn't ideal as I have no rest days but if I change up what I am doing from day to day I should be ok.

I am also going to increase my incidental exercise by riding my bike and walking places when I can.

As far as food goes my doctor suggested sticking to a fairly low carb diet due to my PCOS and making sure I'm not drinking too many extra calories in milky coffees - this is a thing for me because I do have 2-3 full fat lattes every day. SO I am going to limit to 2 a day and switch to low fat milk. Just for those. Yoghurt and cheese are still going to be full fat because I don't eat them often anyway.

The other thing we identified is that I have got out of the habit of eating breakfast. Actually, I could go most of the day without eating and then have a massive binge in the afternoon, which is so not cool... so I have started eating first thing once again. I can't face eggs at this stage but fruit and yoghurt are doing the trick. When I get back into the habit I'll try for a breakky higher in protein but for now, something is better than nothing. I have already noticed that I am hungry for lunch today when I am not usually so that's good.

My metabolism is so slow right now and I am determined to fire it up!

The doc asked how I did it in the past and I told her it was slooooow and steady, over years, not months. She was very happy to hear that and suggested I view it the same way this time around. A long term project. I love and hate that. On the one hand, I know she is right. It's the healthy way... but on the other, I just want to lose it quickly because I am so sick of being this big. But I'll do what she says. I'll avoid doing silly fad diets and will try not to be too impatient.

I am going to go back and see the doctor just before Christmas to assess my progress. It's good to have a date to work towards. I am determined to be feeling better and being a bit smaller by then!

It's hard being honest, especially after I was kind of held up as an example of how to get fit and healthy all those years ago. But I guess I am proof that the journey never ends... well.. until we're dead... and we just have to keep plugging along and working on ourselves and encouraging others along the way.

I bought these ace shoes to inspire me.

So how are you going? Are you feeling healthy? Are you making any lifestyle changes this month?

My body wants to be fat... but I can change that.

Well hey there! It's been a while. I've been in the midst of an exceptionally busy time and my focus on health and fitness has gone by the proverbial.

This is not an uncommon story for me. Whenever I try something new that is NOT a long term, sustainable thing (ie. shake diets, very restrictive eating plans), I feel great for a while and I lose a bit of weight but I usually last only a few weeks before something shifts and I can't manage it any more.

I have recently re-read a book that I had forgotten about. It outlines an approach to weight loss which is the opposite of most "diets" and advocates adding in more good foods instead of banning, restricting and counting calories. I had forgotten about this book but as soon as I started listening (I downloaded the audiobook) I remembered that this was the key for me when I lost weight prior to becoming pregnant with my little man.

The book is called The Gabriel Method.


It's difficult to outline the key concepts in this book because it is multi-faceted and unique for each person because it addresses emotional issues as well as teaching good nutrition and useful exercise concepts, but I am going to have a go anyway. I have already had a major "a-hah!" moment about one particular emotional reason for my weight gain which I'll tell you about after my attempt to share the key concepts.

The main key to this approach to weight loss is that there are biological and psychological reasons why the body wants to be fat or thin (or somewhere in between) and as long as the body wants to be fat, it won't allow it to lose the stored fat for any length of time. It has a set point for a reason, so although I can go on a diet and lose some weight, it is like holding a basketball under the water; as soon as I let go, it shoots back up to where it wants to be. That's a difficult concept to grasp for many people, it was for me, because it doesn't seem to make sense at the outset. Why would my body want to be fat? It almost seems like my body is separate from the rest of me. When I looked deeper into this concept I realised that it is not that my body is separate, it is just that the part of the brain that governs my subconscious responses to any stress is not one that I am acutely aware of... it's my subconscious after all!

Jon Gabriel, author of The Gabriel Method calls this "the animal brain" and he says that all the stress we experience in our modern day lives are interpreted in only three ways by the part of our brain that is programmed to deal with the following ancient stresses: freezing to death, starving to death and getting eaten by a predator. The responses to these ancient stresses are obvious: store fat to keep warm, store fat to survive a famine and get thin to be able to run away from a predator and stay alive.

The Gabriel Method suggests that any modern stress is interpreted in one of these ways. For example, many people hold on to fat as a protective mechanism after abuse. This is a chronic stress that sits with a person for many years, it is always there in the back of their mind and they cannot run away from it. This stress is akin to freezing or starving to death, long and drawn out, and so it makes sense that the brain would interpret this as a trigger to store fat. Financial stress is the same, as are many other modern, chronic stresses.

The good thing is, we can change our body's set point. We can make our bodies want to be thin.

The "get thin or get eaten" stress can be used to help weight loss along by tricking the brain into thinking it needs to drop fat fast to enable you to get away from imaginary predators. The modern take on this is high intensity interval training (HITT) where you run or cycle as fast as you can for short bursts a few times during your lower intensity exercise session.

The nutritional aspect of the method is almost the exact opposite to most diets out there because, in response to the modern stress of "starvation", that is nutritional starvation due to the large number of denatured, processed foods in our modern diet, the method encourages you add in more good foods and not restrict anything.

The key here is that once your body is receiving the right nutrition it will no longer crave the other crap.

The things to be added to every meal are:

Protein

Omega 3 essential fatty acids

Live foods (fresh salads, veggies, fruits)

These are added to whatever you're already eating. You could even add them to a meal of junk food according to Jon. You just cut up whatever you're eating and make a salad out of it. Seems funny, but it makes sense. The more good food you have, the fewer cravings, because your body is getting what it needs.

Another key is to accept yourself exactly as you are right now and learn to love yourself at any size. Because if you don't think you're worth the effort, you wont succeed.

My "a-hah!" moment:
While listening to an interview with Jon Gabriel, he mentioned that financial stress can be interpreted as famine by the subconscious and lead a person to hold on to fat as a protection. Storing it up for a harsh period of lack. This really hit home for me. We have been in quite serious financial stress for a long time and I really feel this is the key for me. I feel vulnerable all the time and while I can put on a brave face and get on with things, I can't stop the lingering stress that is always there.

We had a period of time where we didn't have this financial stress and it happened to coincide with a time where I lost 42kg and was quite easily maintaining it. Coincidence? I think not.

So there's my brain spew for the day. I will be back soon to share more because I have lots more to explore, but I feel better having got all of those thoughts out. Thanks for tuning in!

Ash
xx

A time when there was less financial stress and when being healthy was easy

*** FYI- I am not in any way associated or being paid by The Gabriel Method, I just this it's a really great approach***

Hello? Mojo?

Good morning friends,

It appears my mojo escaped while I wasn't watching. The school holidays kicked me in the butt and I am waaaay out of routine!

Pretty sure I've put back on whatever weight I lost over the last six weeks and while I could wallow in self loathing and misery, I don't have time for that crap so I'm just going to get back on the wagon and and get on with it.

I'm going to go back to Operation Move basics and time table my week - this has been one of the best tools Op Move has given me. It's so simple and seemingly obvious but it has really helped me to realise that I actually DO have time to exercise for a few hours each week.

My plan for this week is to get three hours of exercise done and to stick to my calorie allowance with My Fitness Pal. I don't have bathroom scales so I'm going to go to my friend Mayra's place to weigh in and assess the holiday damage. It's not going  to be pretty.

I am 30 on November 18th this year and I would like to lose 20kg by then. That's 5kg per month, which is doable but I'll need to be strict.

The plan for the rest of this week:
Tuesday morning : 1 hour walk pushing the little dude in the pram
Wednesday afternoon: 3x20 squats/lunges/wall pushups 3 x plank holds
Thursday morning: 1 hour walk - pram pushing (Hair appointment in the arvo! Nice reward!)
Friday morning: Miss 7 home from school - will take a 1 hour walk along the beach where she can skate

If the weather is bad I can use a free gym pass on Tuesday or Thursday night.

So I'm organised. I have a few online buddies who are kick-starting this week too so I've got a little gang of supportive people to chat to which is nice. I also commit to being more active in the Op Move Facebook page - I tend to go quiet when I'm not doing so well.

Here's to transparency!

The photo that made me really glad I started this thing...

So, I'm about 7 kilos and over one dress size down. My energy levels have increased and I am exercising for over two hours a week - this is gradually increasing as I get fitter but for now it's SO much more than I have been doing over the last year or so and I'm proud of that.

Anyway... you know how sometimes it's easier to live in a state of denial than to actually acknowledge how serious things are getting? Well, I definitely have been doing that. Denying how big I was getting and how sick I was feeling and instead buying bigger clothes every few months so I could keep ignoring that serious change needed to happen. 

I just couldn't face it. The last few years have been very stressful and I was just managing to hang on emotionally. I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with my increasingly bad choices. Emotional eating, emotional laziness, comfort, lots of sitting, thinking that it was all making me feel better but in reality it made me worse....and worse and worse.

So I've actually changed things! I really have! And it's starting to show! And I'm proud of my efforts. 

Talk about the power of positive reinforcement! For the sake of transparency, I have spent the last month kick-starting with the help of Optifast and I am about to transition to a balanced 1300-1500cal plan in the next few days to ensure I am getting adequate nutrition and ensuring slow and steady losses until I reach my goal. 

I haven't addressed the title of this post have I? I'm feeling very challenged and embarrassed that I let myself get so out of control but I feel that it would be good to share so that I can remember how far I have come and how little changes and being consistent can have a big effect in the long term... That's what Operation Move is all about... little changes and consistency. Anyway... here it is. I'm struggling to even add it to the post but I know I need to. For me... no one else.

This is me with my little boy a few months ago. I honestly had NO idea at the time that I looked like this from the side. No wonder I was having so much trouble playing with my kids and doing simple things like crossing my legs when seated. 

I also recently participated in a film clip for Georgia Fields's new single The Hood and The Hunter and to be honest, when I saw my face pop up on the screen I was so shocked at how round it was. I took a comparison picture last night.

So YES! There's a difference and I am very proud and keen to keep going and feeling better every day. I am unsure if I want to post my weight and measurements... Do people want to know that stuff? Does it matter? I guess it's up to me and right now I don't feel like sharing that stuff. I'd rather focus on how I'm feeling.

I want to give a big shout out to the lovely and supportive people at Operation Move* who have been so generous, kind and caring. I wouldn't have achieved this had I not started the Get Moving program with you.

You may have noticed that this blog has changed. It was going to be a blog that I shared with my friend Yelka but things have changed and I've decided to keep the blog going with a different name.

Here is the gorgeous music video I mentioned above. I'm totes famous... albeit moon-faced. 

*Disclaimer: I am participating in Operation Move - Get Moving for free in exchange for sharing my story with you all. Good deal huh!?

The beginning again...

Hello from my writing desk... it's tea time... thank goodness.

Well hello there,

Welcome to my little bloggy-journally-spill my guts blog. It's really different to my other blog The Squee because here I just talk about me me me...totes self indulgent right? :)

Yelka will also be posting so stay tuned for her no doubt wonderful posts too.

I'm really trying hard to be positive at the moment because there are so many good things happening and lots of opportunities to express creativity and connect with people. It's really nice.

Despite these good things I can't ignore that I have been steadily gaining weight over the last three years since I gave birth to my little man and I really don't feel good. I medicate myself, my feelings and stress with food and I have completely lost the knack of knowing when to stop and how not to eat when I am not hungry.

This frustrates me no end because only four years ago I was at my fittest and healthiest and was helping other people to reach their own fitness goals. I wonder if I knew deep down that I wouldn't be able to maintain the weight that I had lost? Maybe... or maybe not. I couldn't know could I?

I need to figure out the WHY of my behaviour. Why does food comfort me? Why do I eat when I'm not hungry? Why do I eat in secret? What's it all about? How will I feel if i don't turn to food?

Some of that work will probably happen here.

I haven't weighed myself in a long time as we made a decision to get rid of the scales because we could hear our girls using them all the time (it beeped) and we didn't want them becoming fixated on how much they weigh. They are both healthy and active and within a healthy weight range so we thought the best option would be to remove them. I still maintain that this was a good choice but it also makes it more difficult for me to monitor my progress and I will need to find a way around it. Maybe weighing at the chemist? Or maybe if I can eventually afford a gym membership I'll do it there.

I estimate that I am about 112kg right now but will confirm that when I can get to some scales. I will also take some measurements and photos over the next week. I will probably eventually post them here but not until I have some progress pics to compare them to.

I know I can do this. I've done it before and while it seems so hard right now, it will get easier. It just will.

My plan of action is this:

Monday to Friday I aim for about 1500 calories a day and on the weekends a little more depending on what I'm doing. I plan to include more fresh veggies and salads and less processed food, sweet things and bread - but these things are not outlawed.. just limited. I am using the My Fitness Pal app to keep track of my food and exercise.

I am going to get my exercise plan from Kate at Operation Move* really soon but I know it will include three sessions per week. Due to my busy life, for now my exercise will occur on Thursday afternoons while Richie is at kinder and on the weekend when John is home. I need to keep it as simple as possible or it will all become overwhelming and I won't want to do any of it.

So here we are... Day one of tracking with the app. No veggies yet but I'll have some for arvo tea and I'm going to have a big salad for dinner.

It's nice to know I'm not going to feel this crap forever.

*Operation Move is a fabulous fitness program that I am participating in for free in exchange for me chatting about it on the blog. Good deal huh!?